D N Ramarao

My father, Doddaballapur Narasimhamurthy Ramarao, was born in Tarikere, Karnataka on February 20, 1936. His mother, Cauveramma, was known as an incredibly kind and gentle soul. His father, Narasimhamurthy Rao, was a school principal and placed a high value on education. “Ramu”, as he was affectionately called, was the youngest of 7 children. His brother, D.V. Rao, and sisters, Seethamma, Padmavathi, Bhageerathi, Kapila, and Yeshoda, were all caring older siblings who doted on their littlest brother. The family moved to Bengaluru and Ramu started school. To this day, he loved telling stories about his childhood friends and their mischievous adventures. He became a lifelong prankster who loved nothing more than telling a silly joke and seeing people laugh and smile. He also came from a very creative family and went on to enjoy acting in productions at school and in the community. My father attended Bangalore Medical College and was proud to be a member of their first graduating class. He then received his masters in surgery in Kanpur, Madhya Pradesh. Shortly after taking a post as a lecturer, the matchmaking began. My mother shared that she was introduced to a few young potential suitors, but in the end was happy to marry my father as he was the only forward-minded individual amongst them who would allow her to work, the only one who would support her in continuing her career as a physician. She often shares a story about their early days as a married couple, where she cooked for him for the first time. In those days, wives often served their husbands first and only ate afterwards. So, my mother worked very hard on her first meal and was excited and nervous to hear his reaction. He sat down, ate everything quietly and then got up and said thank you. My mother then sat down to have her own dinner and discovered that she had inadvertently used sugar instead of salt in all of the dishes she prepared. She was shocked. He hadn’t said a single word. And I’ve always known him to be this way…he would always try to celebrate achievements and not focus on imperfections. Within a few years, my brother, Ravi, and I were born. Our little family moved to Australia for a short stint before finally making Chicago our home. My father trained in urology at the old Cook County Hospital and then went into private practice in the northern Chicago suburbs. He made close friends along the way and enjoyed the camaraderie with fellow physicians and nurses in the OR. He was so happy to have made his living in a field where he could meet interesting people and where the techniques and technology developed rapidly to help alleviate pain and suffering. He finally retired from the profession at the age of 75. He loved children and was really proud of Ravi and I. He shared recently that he only wished he could have spent more time with us when we were little. Some of his happiest parenting moments were spent with Ravi, taking the el train and sitting in the sunshine at beautiful Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. He also enjoyed driving me and my friends to concerts back in the 80s, even though he thought the bands had strange hairstyles. But his favorite time was actually getting to know us as adults, while driving us down to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and watching us start our own adventures. But none of that could come even close to the sparkles in his eyes when he first held his granddaughter, Nina. He spent every moment possible with her. He loved taking her on walks to the park. He never missed a violin concert or a martial arts belt test. He was proud of her academic potential and successes. He wanted to live long enough to drive her to college, but unfortunately missed that window by 5 months. I like to think he’ll be watching over her as she now starts her new life away from home. My father, who has come to be known as “Tata”, lived a very full life in his 88 years. He drove to nearly all 50 states, with the top down in his little red convertible. He traveled extensively throughout Europe, Asia, and Africa. His next stop was meant to be Easter Island, but he didn’t get there in this life. Hopefully, he’ll make it there in the next one. He was a lifelong learner, taking classes in German language and cross-country skiing, although I’m pretty sure he regretted that one after a sprain. He enjoyed watching the cooking channel for hours on end, but never actually cooked anything. He was an avid reader and fell asleep each night with Grisham and Patterson. He devoured large volumes on Jefferson and Adams and embraced history and political discourse. He enjoyed watching “60 minutes” and the Sunday news shows; and absolutely nothing could come in the way of viewing his favorite Fareed Zakaria. Tata turned over a new leaf to be as healthy as possible. He began every morning for more than 25 years jogging for 90 minutes. He joined the health craze of juicing everything. He quit smoking after many attempts and said it was the hardest thing he had ever done. His niece, Rama, encouraged him to begin hot yoga and he became a true believer after only one class. He did all that he could to live a healthier lifestyle, but in the end, genetics really do matter. He lived with diabetes for many, many years. In the past 3 years, his health declined even further. But ultimately, everything changed on March 24th, 2023 when Ravi passed away. Is it possible to die of a broken heart? A year ago, I would have been skeptical of such a notion. But after witnessing my father’s grief, and the toll it took on his emotional and physical health, I can say without a doubt- yes, it is possible to die of a broken heart. He spent the past year surrounded by family and a loving team of caregivers. We were there for every appointment, treatment and hospitalization. His niece, Rama, spent every single day of the last three years making his favorite foods, which made him so very happy up until the end. Rama and her husband PM are truly angels who have helped in every single way and have gone so far above and beyond what anyone could possibly expect. On March 1st, Tata decided he was done with all the poking and prodding and decided to go on hospice. He was open and honest about his condition and his feelings. He was gratified to hear from friends and family who reached out from all over the world. Thank you all for being there for him. Tata passed away on Sunday, March 17th, 2024 at approximately 1:11pm. My mother had arrived a few minutes before he took his final breath. It seems he was waiting for her in order to depart this earth. Tata, wherever you are now, we hope you are at peace and that you are reunited with Ravi now, maybe watching spring training for your beloved Cubbies…or telling one more silly joke and watching him smile. In-lieu of flowers we would like people to donate to either of the following organizations: 1. Mantralaya Ragavendra Swami Matha (Hindu temple) at https://il-srsmatha.org 2. Fresenius Kidney Care foundation: https://www.freseniuskidneycare.com/tools-and-resources/tribute-gifts-and-donations.pdf A service for D N will be held on Thursday, March 21st from 10:30 AM - 11:30 AM with eulogies from 11:30 AM - 12:00 PM followed by a puja ceremony at 12 PM at McCauley-Sullivan Funeral Home & Crematorium. Funeral arrangements entrusted to McCauley-Sullivan Funeral Home & Crematorium.

D N Ramarao

February 20, 1936 - March 17, 2024